Saturday, May 24, 2008

Running My Race

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post that entitled "Sing it with me now, "One of these things is not like the other ones.", going on to say that the song was my theme song. Most of my life, I've been the different one. Now more than ever, one of these things is not like the other one...and it's me. I've made myself to fit in with different groups of people and have plenty of friends, but mostly, I feel more different from my friends and family than I feel alike.

After having the post out there for a while and re-reading it several times, I decided to delete it. The post never read like I wanted it to and even when I was writing it, I felt like I wasn't communicating effectively what I wanted to say. It was mainly concerning an organic garden that I'd like to plant and at which I'm making a feeble attempt. The idea has been met with some criticism and skepticism from people in my circle, but it's really not that big of a deal to me, nor have they made it a big deal. John was maybe a bit annoyed at first at the thought of my compost pile but now he puts the shells from the eggs he cooks for breakfast in the pail and even empties the pail for me from time to time. (He did put his foot down when I said I was going to ask our neighbor to collect their coffee grounds for me. Yeah, maybe that's a bit much to ask...) But the bottom line is, I think I made a bigger deal about it than I meant to with the writing that I posted.

It wasn't just my idea for my garden that made me realize how different I am from people around me and it's not a new realization for me. And what a relief it is to remember that life on earth is temporal and that I'm not meant to "fit in" with everyone. I know that I am running the race that God has set before me (Hebrews 12:1)and that's what really matters. I am "fearfully and wonderfully made" by a God who loves me, even with all of my idiosyncrasies. (Psalm 139:14) And God has entrusted John and me with the awesome responsibility of raising John David. It's so important for us to remember that we are making decisons that are right for our family and not for anyone else. And decisions that others have made for their families are just that - decisions for their families, not ours. It's so easy for me to get caught up in the game of comparision and that's just wrong! At the same time, I must guard myself from the sin of self-righteousness, knowing that my decisions or likes and dislikes are not any better or worse than anyone else's, they are simply mine.

So, I'm going to go ahead with my garden, and my composting, and with exploring the traditions of locovores, and with explaning intricate concepts to John David, and with allowing John David to get in bed with us in the middle of the night (gasp!), and with trying to avoid using household chemicals that may be dangerous to our health, and with recycling, and with watching foreign language films with subtitles, and with being conservative (environmentally, economically, politically and religiously), and with whatever else I might find interesting or worthwhile while I am running my race. Wishing each person who reads this confidence to seek out your course and to run with perserverence the race set before you.

1 comment:

Dave, Ami, Hadleigh Claire and Annelise said...

I have often found that in my own desire to "fit in" I often judged others on what they do and do not do. But the odd thing is that I want grace from others that don't understand me, and yet I want to judge others that I do not understand. All that to say, yea, what you are saying is hard and good. I need to extend so much grace to others who do things in a way that may seem different to me...in the same way that I want them to extend me grace when I do something in a way that seems different to them. That is SO hard to do! But we are each wired differently and have different feelings and different values. I put a value of living overseas over buying a home. Most of my other friends valued buying a home over living overseas...neither is wrong, and neither in and of itself is sinful. So, go on with your crazy garden =)...and I'll go on making baby food and all the other odd/psycho things that I do. It is so important for me to be reminded that not everyone is called to be like me, and that I need to extend grace to others, which is the very thing I think I often seek from others. Thanks!